Ragbrai is the Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa.

It’s this thing where 25,000 to 35,000 people ride their bicycles from the Missouri River to the Mississippi River.  All at the same time.  Then there are probably 10,000 or so support people to haul shit from town to town.  You didn’t think we carried it on our bikes did you?  Well some people do.  Anyway, there’s lots of stuff going on.  People drink. People party. People eat. People sit around and tell lies.  And people ride their bikes about 60 to 80 miles a day.  I just returned from taking part in all of the above (mostly the telling lies part).  Here are 20 things I saw, did, or heard about…

1. Burlesque Dancing
2. Sitting in a tub of ice water
3. Rode 60 miles a day with a torn ACL
4. Fell off a bike
5. Applied a temporary tattoo by mouth/tongue
6. Put stickers on everything
7. Failed to get drunk on light beer
8. Taught a 20-something party chick the proper way to do a jello shot
9. Used a turkey leg as a microphone
10. Camped in a church parking lot
11. Drank beer in a church parking lot
12. Went potty in a church parking lot
13. Misplaced a 20 gallon bin, then found it
14. Skinny dipping
15. Passed out in a pile of empty beer cans
16. Went potty in a re-purposed beer bong.  On a bus.
17. Nurtured and elevated some special, unique friendships
18. Road trip with a beautiful, sexy, kind, generous, passionate woman
19. Drank craft beer and listened to live jazz in a farmer’s yard
20. Hung out in a european plaza built with Pella money

Bonus:  Swam in an oasis behind an ice cream shop with bubbling hot springs and some really cool people…