Moisturize. I’m serious. Go moisturize right now.

Moisturizer.  Use it.  It works.

Our friend Larry is a good ole boy from Iowa.  Raised on a farm and has plenty of farm in him.  His haircut is farm. His mustache is farm.  He rides his bicycle 80 miles in 80 degree heat wearing a cotton t-shirt with cutoff sleeves.  He’s a good guy.

Also, he changes into some nice shorts that he got at Kohl’s on sale.  “Kohl’s has some nice stuff,” says Larry in his farm accent.

Also, I had Larry pegged at about 45.  We found out he’s in his 50s.

I asked Larry how he manages to look so young.

“All ya gotta do is take care of yourself. And moisturize.”

I heard someone say that moisturizer couldn’t possible be all that important.  After all, went this guy’s logic, for millions of years human beings have survived without moisturizer.  What kind of cruel joke it would be for nature to make it so that we needed moisturizer when we’ve only had it for a few decades.

This logic is bullshit.  Look, I’m sure ancient humans used something like mud or root juice or avocados or animal fat or something to make their lips and skin feel better.  Maybe cavemen and cavewomen didn’t give a damn about looking younger.  Elderly 33 year old women probably didn’t feel like looking 26  mattered.  But that lard sure did soothe that dry skin.

Also, think about this, paleo-skin-care people.  When people lived to the ripe old age of 45, they probably didn’t even really care about looking younger.  They cared about living to 46.  Also, they didn’t have iPhones, but we like those don’t we?

Anyway, moisturizer works. So, use it.

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