Dave Doesn’t Kill Himself at the End

John Dies at the End – a book I read a while back is now a movie that has made it to Netflix. I found the book after reading Help a Bear is Eating Me, recommended by my friend Anna.  My Kindle recommended it.  Anyway, through that circuitous route I came to begin writing a short story called, Dave Doesn’t Kill Himself at the End.

I was applying for a spot in a Butler University fiction workshop.  A sample of my writing was to be included.  I had very few samples of my writing that were not either a Facebook post or something from high school.  So after starting and stopping fifteen or so times I asked a friend what he thought.  He said that since I had been going on about a book I had just read, I should emulate the style.  So was born Dave Doesn’t Kill Himself at the End.

Act I

Dave works at a suicide hotline.  He’s the best there is.  He could talk water out of being wet.  And he can talk anyone out of killing himself for any reason.  Only he plays by his own rules.  Dave’s style ain’t in no book about suicide prevention or crisis counseling.  He’s never lost a caller.  Until today.  But this call was not just any call.  It was weird.  It was different.  It was just the beginning of something – beyond this world.

Act II

Dave just lost his first caller. His confidence is damaged.  His boss is about to fire him. The girl he has a crush on has left the office and is in trouble.  And his best friend just wants to get drunk with Dave because it Dave’s birthday.  Wackiness ensues.  The weirdness turns into hoards of roaming undead and government agents trying to stop them.  Caught in the middle, Dave, his best friend, and the girl Dave has a crush on get the feeling that it is less than clear who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.  So the three of them spend a little time killing undead and dodging government agents.


Our three heroes are caught by the government.  Or so it seems.  If this is the government, it sure ain’t playing by the Constitutional rules the three learned in civics class.  After much unpleasantness in Gitmo-style detention, the three heroes escape and figure out what is really going on.  Their only hope for survival – mankind’s only hope for survival – depends on them getting to the legit authorities and blowing the whistle on this craziness.  Do they make it in time?  Are the “legit” authorities actually legit?  Does Ed seduce the girl Dave has a crush on? Does Dave Kill Himself at the End?

Anyway, as you might have guessed, the short story turned into a novel.  I haven’t quite finished the first chapter, let alone the first act.

Maybe some day…

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